Thank You 2020
What a year to be alive! 2020 was certainly a year that took us all by surprise, but I'd like to acknowledge the goodness and beauty that I've seen come into my own life. My 2020 came with many challenges and devastating disappointments, but at the same time, so much good came from it.
The biggest lesson that I had learned this year is to let go of the need to have control on my life, or the many expectations I hold on to. The Lord really challenged me in ways I never would've imagined while anticipating the New Year. He allowed many times for me to let go and trust. "It is what it is" became a common saying that I'd tell myself a few times a day to acknowledge how little control I really did have on situations I wanted to change. I learned to laugh more, appreciate things I didn't know I took for granted, and to be more merciful with myself.
At first, when the pandemic first began, getting sent home from school in the Spring was absolutely devastating. But the fruit that came from it was something greater than I could've ever imagined. I was able to spend that time with my family before shipping off to another training. I developed a greater trust in the Lord, as well as following His call to share some of my writings with others. I was able to keep in touch with friends and extended family through letters and zoom calls. I grew deeper in appreciation for those I love, as well as the things we weren't able to do, and the people we weren't able to see during a pandemic. I started to see the things I took for granted, and learned to appreciate the blessings - big and small- in my own life. Self mercy was also a strong theme throughout the year, and allowing myself to let go of unrealistic expectations I hold myself to.
Going to the Army School of Music this summer was one of the greatest blessings, even though COVID made for a very unique experience. But because of the unique circumstances, my cycle all adapted and persisted to make it the best experience it could be. I met a variety of amazing musicians, soldiers, and people all in one. Each one of my battle buddies, instructors, and Drill Sergeants had a great impact on me, and taught me so much. I grew in my own self confidence, as a soldier, musician, and person. I witnessed so many beautiful moments in the sunrises and sunsets, the music we shared, the mutual struggles we faced on ruck marches, hill runs, or even PT in the heavy rain. Through our COVID restrictions, our group grew closer in our games of frisbee, trips to the beach to watch sunsets, and even spending time listening to each other practice. I learned that my career possibilities in the military are endless, as well as the huge support system I had just from the School of Music.
Starting the new semester, meeting new roommates, and returning to my unit, there had been much stressful anticipation sitting on my shoulders. My semester started off rocky, with flat tires, family deaths, health concerns, and more. But, God has a way of putting people into your life when you need them. I have been blessed with my extremely caring, fun, and supportive roommates. My battle buddies (from training and my unit) always have my back, and are always just a phone call away. My professors were compassionate and always willing to listen, prepared to help me out in any way that they could. I had many moments where I got to reconnect with old friends, and even meet some new ones!! The friendships, both old and new, that the Lord has given me this year have been so essential in making this year a little brighter than it originally started off. I was even able to see my family much more than usual because of COVID, which I understand wasn't the case for most. I consider that one of my biggest blessings this past year.
Ensembles were still able to go on this semester, which we didn't anticipate happening. The fact that we were able to make music as a group again, and all stay safe was such a huge reward. It is where we went to get away from the craziness of these times. Our Christmas concert may have not been at Orchestra Hall this year, but it was still phenomenal despite the precautions we had to take. My recital that I'd spent the year prior preparing for was officially closed off to all audience members, which was very hard to accept. All of my friends and family were excited to attend, yet in a way, it provided me an opportunity to produce a better performance because of less distractions, and not as much performance anxiety. It gave my family and I something to look forward to when we could all watch it together. My friends at school still made me feel special and celebrated my achievement.
This year taught me to roll with the punches of life, and to entrust to the Lord all of the struggles I face. Because at the end of the day, those little disappointments you seem to hold onto have a way of turning into even greater blessings when you just offer them up to Him. I grew in self mercy, trust, and patience as the year went on, and I am actually forever grateful for the year 2020 for showing me the areas that I needed to grow the most. Thank you 2020 for the year of growth, new friendships, overcoming challenges, and extra time with those I love.
